Thursday, March 12, 2009

No one, but two (count 'em) two hookers.

Don't look to the GOP for salvation from sleazy Chicago politics if the recent case of Cook County GOP chair and onetime aide to Gov. Jim Thompson, Gary Skoien, is any indication. Skoien recently had a restraining order taken out against his wife when she beat him senseless with his electric guitar after finding him in the kids' playroom frolicking about with not one, but two prostitutes.

Avid followers of Chicago politics will recall that our esteemed President in part owes his political success to Jack Ryan, his 2004 GOP challenger for the U.S. Senate who had a nasty habit of dragging his reluctant wife to sex clubs and insisting she bump uglies with him while strangers stood around and watched. Ryan departed the race soon after his divorce papers were made public and was replaced by Alan Keyes... who is certifiably insane and stood no chance against Obama.

(Via Huffington Post)

8 comments:

Mr BLifil said...

Holy shit, that's just wrong.

"I think I'll have a hooker threesome, and I think I want to have it on a Sunday morning, in my home where my estranged wife still lives, and where my 5, 7, and 8-year olds are presumably sleeping, and I think I'll have it in the playroom, and I think I'll do it loud enough that my estranged wife who lives on the other side of the house because we're estranged, will hear me and come into the playroom, where she will proceed to beat my ass with a Guitar Hero axe (no way this douche plays an actual guitar, and if he did why keep it in the playroom?)."

Sounds like a plan.

Patriot's Quill said...

A hooker threesome? What are you gunning for national GOP chair?

dah_sab said...

This guy is my new hero. He may be batshit insane, but per Mr. BL's scenario, he must have balls the size of XXXXL Truck Nutz to try this one on. I salute you, crazy Chicago GOP guy. Hope the "boom goes the dynamite" was worth it.

ewaffle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Uhm....let's hope the guitar was something substantial like a Les Paul or at least a Telecaster. A Strat just doesn't pack the same wallop.

Terry in Silver Spring said...

The wife should be cleared of any potential charges. A beat down with a guitar is actually pretty mild as compared to what he deserved.

Did you ever hear the story of Al Green? His lady was so angry with him that she walked from the kitchen to the bathroom where he was showering and threw a pan of hot grits on him. When you tell someone about that, a man will cringe out of sympathetic pain. A woman will say or thing "Oh, he must have deserved that. What did he do?".

Mo MoDo said...

Congrats on the Wonkette link. As I said there, who the fuck hires hookers to play Guitar Hero with. Oh yeah, he's a Republican.

Anonymous said...

Forget Limbaugh, this guy's a real wacko. Hey, if you can't win elections, might as well provide good entertainment value.